funny humorous sayings

All national institutions of churches, whether Jewish, Christian, or Turkish, appear to me no other than human inventions, set up to terrify and enslave mankind, and monopolize power and profit.
~Author : Thomas Paine Famous Quotes

Self-reflection Quotes Birthday Sayings Sayings Exaggeration Quotes Mankind Sayings Winter Quotes


[Optimism is] the obstinacy of maintaining that everything is best when it is worst.
~Author : Voltaire Candide Inspirational Sayings

No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.
~Author : Alice Walker Nice Quotes

We are like sculptors, constantly carving out of others the image we long for, need, love or desire, often against reality, against their benefit, and always, in the end, a disappointment, because it does not fit them.
~Author : Anais Nin Great Sayings

The telephone is the greatest nuisance among conveniences, the greatest convenience among nuisances.
~Author : Robert Staughton Lynd Meaningful Sayings

Take life one basket at a time.
~Author : Jackie Wilson Wise Quotes

Where observation is concerned, chance favors only the prepared mind.
~Author : Louis Pasteur 18221895 Motivational Sayings

Statistically the probability of any one of us being here is so small that you would think the mere possibility of existence would keep us all in a contented dazzlement of surprise.
~Author : Lewis Thomas Famous Quotes

The great consolation in life is to say what one thinks.
~Author : Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire Inspirational Sayings

Funny Quotes, Humorous Sayings « funny sayings

Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.
~Author : William Shakespeare Famous Quotes

Funny Saying Sayings Intuition Quotes Clothing Sayings Mistakes Quotes Charm Sayings

Fear is a question: What are you afraid of, and why? Just as the seed of health is in illness, because illness contains information, your fears are a treasure house of self-knowledge if you explore them.
~Author : Marilyn Ferguson Inspirational Sayings

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
~Author : Oscar Fingall O'Flahertie Wills Wilde Nice Quotes

The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will.
~Author : Vincent Lombardi Great Sayings

History, as an entirety, could only exist in the eyes of an observer outside it and outside the world. History only exists, in the final analysis, for God.
~Author : Albert Camus Meaningful Sayings

The wise man can pick up a grain of sand and envision a whole universe. But the stupid man will just lie down on some seaweed and roll around until he's completely draped in it. Then he'll stand up and go, 'Hey, I'm Vine Man.'
~Author : Jack Handey Deep Thoughts Wise Quotes

It strikes me as gruesome and comical that in our culture we have an expectation that man can always solve his problems. This is so untrue that it makes me want to cry--or laugh.
~Author : Kurt Vonnegut Jr Motivational Sayings

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
~Author : Mignon McLaughlin Famous Quotes

After two years in Washington, I often long for the realism and sincerity of Hollywood.
~Author : Fred Thompson Speech before the Commonwealth Club of California Inspirational Sayings

Humorous Sayings, Jokes and Funny Short Stories - Wise Old Sayings

Level with your child by being honest. Nobody spots a phony quicker than a child.
~Author : Mary MacCracken Famous Quotes

Nothing is beautiful, only man on this piece of navety rests all aesthetics, it is the first truth of aesthetics. Let us immediately add its second nothing is ugly but degenerate man-the domain of aesthetic judgment is therewith defined.
~Author : Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche Inspirational Sayings

If you would be wealthy, think of saving as well as getting.
~Author : Benjamin Franklin Nice Quotes

All men by nature desire knowledge.
~Author : Aristotle Metaphysics Great Sayings

There should be less talk a preaching point is not a meeting point. What do you do then Take a broom and clean someone's house. That says enough.
~Author : Mother Theresa Meaningful Sayings

Do definite good first of all to yourself, then to definite persons.
~Author : John Lancaster Spalding Wise Quotes

On a plane you can pick up more and better people than on any other public conveyance since the stagecoach.
~Author : Anita Loos Motivational Sayings

When you're a lawyer, you expect your client to lie to you, but not when he is the president.
~Author : Dick Houser Famous Quotes

So, rather than appear foolish afterward, I renounce seeming clever now.
~Author : William of Baskerville Inspirational Sayings

Funny Quotes, Humorous Sayings

The great thing is the start - to see an opportunity for service, and to start doing it, even though in the beginning you serve but a single customer - and him for nothing.
~Author : Robert Collier Famous Quotes

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
~Author : George Burns Inspirational Sayings

No gray hairs streak my soul, no grandfatherly fondness there I shake the world with the might of my voice, and walk-handsome, twentytwoyearold.
~Author : Vladimir Mayakovsky Nice Quotes

Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
~Author : Voltaire on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan Great Sayings

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.
~Author : Mark Twain Meaningful Sayings

All of his saves have come in relief appearances
~Author : Ralph Kiner Wise Quotes

Remember Things in life will not always run smoothly. Sometimes we will be rising toward the heights - then all will seem to reverse itself and start downward. The great fact to remember is that the trend of civilization itself is forever upward, that a line drawn through the middle of the peaks and the valleys of the centuries always has an upward trend.
~Author : Endicott Peabody Motivational Sayings

There is an ecstasy that marks the summit of life, and beyond which life cannot rise. And such is the paradox of living, this ecstasy comes when one is most alive, and it comes as a complete forgetfulness that one is alive.
~Author : Jack London Famous Quotes

When making a decision of minor importance, I have always found it advantageous to consider all the pros and cons. In vital matters, however, such as the choice of a mate or a profession, the decision should come from the unconscious, from somewhere within ourselves. In the important decisions of personal life, we should be governed, I think, by the deep inner needs of our nature.
~Author : Sigmund Freud Inspirational Sayings